if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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