Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
