glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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