i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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