he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
