but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
