Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
