how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
