Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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