Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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