worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You made out with two different species that night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
