Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
