Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
