just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
