But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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