worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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