You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
