If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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