You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
