i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
