hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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