question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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