Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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