After last night, I could never be a politician.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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