It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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