You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize