In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
