i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Are my feet made of real feet?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
