so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
