textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
