Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
