I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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