the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize