glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
