is your mom at the bar?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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