i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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