i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
