I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
