You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
