I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
