He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
