im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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