Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
