Buhtt sex?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
