smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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