You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
