Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
