evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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