We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize