Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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