So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
