So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
