Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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