Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
