Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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