TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
