i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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