Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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