You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize