Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
