He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize