I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Watching her eat just hurts me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the raccoons are back...
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