Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
