he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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