He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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