U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize