Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
please come you make the beer taste better
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
