Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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(845): View more from New York

i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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(512): View more from Texas

I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

(573): View more from Missouri

Successful day.

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(917): View more from New York City

you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

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(205): View more from Alabama

This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.

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(516): View more from New York

Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time

(917): View more from New York City

An adult?

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(256): View more from Alabama

Good news my life of crime finally paid off

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(510): View more from California

Will exercising make me less horny?

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