Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize