Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the raccoons are back...
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