They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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