its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
