What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
